Love the One You Hate

           “Forgive and forget; that’s the Christian way!” Don’t you hate this reminder? Forgive and forget? No way! Revenge is sweeter. “Don’t get mad; get even!” That sounds better to the sinner’s ear. Harboring hatred appeases for the moment, for our mind acts out our vengeance. We imaginatively slay the person, think ill of him, and wish bad to befall him. Yet, we are Christians and a mark of a disciple of Jesus is forgiveness, for the Savior did say in Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies and pray for them that persecute you.” Forgiving the dastardly is proof that we are sons of God, for only true believers can really love the one they hate (Matt. 5:45-46). Furthermore, Jesus said that if we harbor anger in our hearts toward our brother, we have basically murdered him and are guilty before the court (Matt. 521-22).

            When conflict arises in churches, sin increases and leaders either add to the problem or become soothing balm in healing the hurt. Hatred of those that cause the conflict will only stir up more strife, but loving them will cover their sins and ease the controversy (Prov. 10:12). In such situations, leaders must be strong, yet humble; steadfast, yet understanding; and decisive, yet loving. If they the shepherds have sinned, then they must model what confession and forgiveness look like, for the sheep (i.e., true believers) will follow their lead and seek reconciliation with others. Those who fail to admit their sin and who harbor an unforgiving attitude will in all likelihood leave the church and retain their bitterness.

            I once served a church that had a major split over worship and direction of the church. The senior pastor resigned, but many of his supporters remained in the church, causing disquiet among the elders. After preaching a number of sermons on forgiveness and leaving the past behind, I asked the congregation during the confession time of the service to bow their heads, close their eyes, and raise their hands if they had transgressed God’s law by sinning in any of the ways I described. I then mentioned a litany of sins that broke fellowship and strained relationships with one another. Just about every hand went up. I then asked them to lower their hands, keep their eyes closed, and confess their sins silently before the Lord, asking for His forgiveness and the power to forgive others that have hurt them. With eyes open I had them look around the sanctuary. If they saw anyone in the congregation with whom they had strained relationships and about whom they just prayed to forgive, then they were leave their seats and approach the person or persons that they had sinned against in their minds or held bitterness towards in their hearts and ask the person’s forgiveness.

            The Lord’s Spirit was moving in that church and people stood up and approached those they harbored bitterness toward. I heard the buzz of confession and the sobbing of joy as the Lord brought peace and unity to a torn congregation. I kept an eye, however, on two key families that were centrally embroiled in the conflict. They remained in their seats and were shocked when a number of people approached them, asking forgiveness for the bitterness they had carried toward them. Their hearts, however, remained hardened, for they refused to surrender their self-righteous attitude, thereby locking themselves in the darkness of unforgiveness.

Lewis Smedes (1921-2002), former professor of Fuller Theological Seminary once said, “When you forgive a person who wronged you, you set a prisoner free, and then you discover that the prisoner you set free is you.”[1] How right he is! Without forgiving the person who has seriously offended us or harmed our family, we allow the bile of bitterness to eat us up. And when we are bitter, that acid is not hurting the one we are angry at, it is hurting us. Freedom is in forgiving; bondage remains for the impenitent.

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[1] Lewis Smedes, "Five Things Everyone Should Know about Forgiving," 30 Good Minutes (Program #4101 - First air date October 5, 1997), Chicago Sunday Evening Club http://www.csec.org/csec/sermon/smedes_4101.htm (Accessed January 22, 2011).

Dead Churches Fear Change

             Within churches looking for new pastors are leaders who fear change because it represents insecurity to them. They don’t know what type of relationship they will have with the new pastor and they certainly don’t want to lose their influence and position of authority in the congregation. Fear is an emotion that causes people to hide from or avoid their problems. It is a core issue in human beings that has plagued man since Adam hid from God. In answer to the Lord’s question, “Where are you?” Adam replied by saying that he became afraid at the sound of God because he was naked and so hid himself (Gen. 3:9-10) Fear causes us to retreat and circumvent issues that should be dealt with. And mausoleum (i.e. dead or dying) churches certainly have many issues confronting them; but they must “wake up” from their deadness and refusal to change!

            As a transitional pastor, I have had elders warn me not to make any changes because change would be viewed as condescending to the prior pastor whom they loved dearly. This was not the prior pastor’s view; only those who devoted themselves to his vision and ministry style. Just tweaking an order of service was tampering with the ‘holy grail.’ The retired pastor didn’t mind his replacement changing things; so why should the elders feel so insecure? They were weak leaders who did not prepare themselves or their congregation for change. They were content living in a mausoleum and thought the sheep felt the same way.

            Fear of change is a definite symptom of weak and failed leadership. What makes matters worse is leadership being possessive of a church that really belongs to Christ! “It’s been this way for a long time and we like it this way. We want no changes to our church.” Such attitudes keep the church encrypted; and the only new comers that stay after one visit are other dead people who are comfortable hanging around a cemetery.

Change is good

            For many leaders, change is frightening because it represents the unknown – something they can’t control. Whenever there is conflict in a church and a pastor has resigned or been forced to leave, change in vision and ministry direction is inevitable. There is no avoiding it! Change also represents the loss of something dear to us whether it is our job, a loved one, our health, our traditions, our pastor, our comfort, or our stability.

            From the beginning in the Garden of Eden to the culmination of Scripture in Revelation God has ordained change. Why then do we fight against it, demanding our own wills, and desiring the status quo? Change is what the Lord uses to grow us spiritually, to help us understand him more fully, and to prepare us for the final and perfect change when at the last trumpet, the dead will be raised and transformed into the imperishable (1 Cor. 15:52-53). Since change is part of God’s decretive will, it must be good.

            Conflict and transition in a church may be forced change, but is to be seen as occurring within God’s providence. And if God is at work in us willing and working his good pleasure (Phil. 2:13), which is always for our best, then change must also be good for God’s people (Ps. 73:1). Understanding this assures us that all things will work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28), even the bad things that may have happened because of church conflict. Leaders therefore are admonished “to wake up” to the fact that change is good because it comes from God.

The Mausoleum Church

            Where did the phrase, “dead as a door nail” originate? In 1590 William Shakespeare used the term in his play about Henry VI.[1]  The character John Cade said, "...and if I do not leave you all as dead as a door-nail, I pray God I may never eat grass more." In 1843 Dickens used the expression to describe Scrooge’s old partner Marley as being dead as a doornail.

In Medieval days when doors were built using only wood boards and hand forged nails, the spike fasteners were long enough to dead nail the vertical wooden panels and horizontal stretcher boards securely together. This was done by pounding the protruding point of the nail over and down into the wood. A nail bent in this fashion was not easily pulled out and therefore dead for future use; thus the expression – “dead as a doornail.”

            The Mausoleum Church is “dead as a doornail.” It may as well post a sign on the door that reads “Closed due to Death.” There may be parishioners inside, but they have no life in them. The church building may be architecturally attractive, but it serves more as a tomb for those who have lost the Spirit and trampled afoot the truth of Scriptures. What these churches have become are good-looking sepulchers. The people that occupy the tombs are nothing more than zombies, thinking they are alive, but in actuality are dead. They are the church of lost hope because they forgot the purpose of their existence, which is to reach the culture with the gospel of Christ.

Church at Sardis

The Church at Sardis in Revelation 3 was dead as a doornail. It protruded into the community, but was bent over dead. The Lord addressed the church, “I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead (Rev. 3:1). The worse thing that could be said to a church is: “You have the reputation of being alive, of being a great church, but in actuality, you are dead.”  What makes a dead church? Failed leadership! Leaders frequently fool themselves into thinking their church is vibrant when in actuality it is much like the Church at Sardis.

Churches become dead because leaders sleep on duty. They are called to be watchmen and shepherds; but when they fail to be vigilant in keeping the church alive for the sake of Christ, the people become lethargic, set in their ways, and centered on self and not on the gospel reaching their community. When leaders snooze, their spiritual muscles atrophy. Like muscular dystrophy (MD), a physical disease of progressive weakening of the body’s skeletal muscles, spiritual dystrophy is the progressive decay and weakening of the muscles of scriptural truth. The church becomes a mausoleum in the community, for spiritual growth ceases and deadness takes over. It is difficult to maintain the power of godliness when a universal deadness and declension prevails.

When the spirit decays within, our outward devotion becomes merely form without substance. We look good on the outside, but inwardly we are rotten. Poor leadership causing dead churches was affirmed by Jesus when he accused Pharisees of being whitewashed tombs (Matt. 23:27) – all dressed up and looking good on the outer surface; but full of corruption, decay, and deadness on the inside. When the spirituality of leadership degenerates, the church reflects the atrophy in becoming ingrown and gospel irrelevant to the community.

Christ exhorted the Church at Sardis to wake up and strengthen the things that remain (Rev. 3:2). Evidently, there was some breath left, which needed resuscitation. But are leaders willing to do CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation)?  In other words, are they willing to make the changes necessary to resuscitate life into a dying church and inject gospel truth into their local ministries?

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[1] Act 5, Sc.10, l. 40-1

The Constipated Church

          Pride and Prejudice, a novel by Jane Austen, is a classic study in the haughtiness of man. In 1995 the British Broadcasting Company (BBC) created a miniseries from the book that starred Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle. In one scene Mr. Bingley confronts his friend, Mr. Darcy, about seeing Jane Bennet in London and unabashedly asks, “You tell me now that she was in London all those months, and you concealed it from me?” Darcy’s reply, “Yes; I can offer no justification. It was an arrogant presumption based on a failure to recognize your true feelings. And Miss Bennet's!”

Arrogant presumption is an issue in some churches because leadership thinks too highly of what their church is and fails to recognize what Christ wants for the congregation. They assume they are a strong and influential church when in reality they are constipated – that is, so full of their history that they bloat their own importance. They reside in the past, resting on ancient laurels rather than being steadfast in the present for what God desires them to be now.

            I was once told by a pastor that his church was a leadership church. He and a few of his supporting elders prided themselves on the fact that their church formed many ministries and was highly influential in the area. I thought to myself, “What is a leadership church? Does it mean that it is setting a trend that other churches quickly follow? Or does it mean that the church was so progressive that other churches looked toward it for direction?” Although I believed the church had many fine qualities, it was far from a “leadership church.” In fact, the leadership was conflicted in vision and direction; and really didn’t have a pulse on the true needs of the sheep that had started wandering to other pastures. In other words, the church was in decline some five or six years after its high point and leadership refused to recognize it.

            Constipation makes us concentrate on “me” and when we do, we forget that the church is not ours, but Christ’s. How soon we forget that the church is an assembly of professing Christians who come together to worship Christ, obey his word, and promote his gospel (Rom. 16:5; Col. 4:15)! As a people of Christ, we are the body of the redeemed, for we are part of all the elect given to Christ by the Father (John 10:29). The Church belongs to Christ, for he is the Good Shepherd who surrendered his life for the sheep (John 10:11). And if the Church is Christ’s, then leadership must get off their high horse and submit to the lordship of Jesus, for he is the head of the Church (Eph. 5:23).

            When leadership fails to see the stages of decline in their church, they actually participate in its downfall. For the most part, they wear rose colored glasses and see a wonderful church, a family church, and an active church. But like the person who has cancer growing on the inside of his body and yet seems very healthy at the moment, the local church may seem fine but internally a disease is eating away and will eventually surface causing debilitation and possible death. That disease is for the most part “failed leadership.” Leaders are to see through the lens of Scripture and rule the local church as appointed by Christ.

The Church at Laodicea

            The Church at Laodicea is an example of the constipated church. They were rich in material goods and so wealthy they had need of nothing, but spiritually were wretched, poor, and blind (Rev. 3:17). Laodicea was a prosperous banking center; so, proud of its wealth that it refused Roman disaster relief after the earthquake of A.D. 60, and was therefore rebuilt from its own resources. It was also known for its textiles (especially wool), for its medical school, for its production of ear medicine as well as the highly reputed Phrygian eye salve.

The church though wealthy became complacent in the spread of the gospel. They thought they needed nothing and didn’t realize that their spiritual condition was one of misery and poverty. Whatever we have as individuals or as a church really belongs to the Lord. What we do with it belongs to us. The problem is that we have the tendency to hoard our capital and keep it for a rainy day. Ironically, being a wealthy church may be a deterrent to spreading the true gospel, for it keeps our focus on the earthly rather than the heavenly. For instance, during the 1980’s there was the push toward the mega church. Bigger churches had the money, the people, the programs, and the reputation. They concentrated on technique and expansion and acted like the gurus of the “here and now” church growth movement. Pastors of some smaller churches became envious of those who had huge churches. They too became constipated because of their worldly desires enticing them to be bigger and greater. But money can’t buy love, particularly the love of Christ. In fact, riches could easily be detrimental to spiritual growth, especially if we claim the Lord blessed us with it, but do nothing for the enhancement of the kingdom on earth.

When we don’t grow spiritually, we become lukewarm just like the Laodiceans. Christ knew their deeds like he knows ours. They were neither cold nor hot, for either condition would have been pleasing to the Lord (Rev. 3:15). Laodicea was located on the Lycus River in the same province with Hierapolis and Colossae. Hierapolis was where hot springs were located to the north above Laodicea. Colossae was located to the south, but at higher elevation than Laodicea; it had fresh pure water that flowed from it. The hot water from Hierapolis met the cold water from Colossae at Laodicea on the Lycus River; and there the mixture became lukewarm.

To be hot would be like hot springs, acting as healing waters to those who were hurting. To be cold would be like bringing cool refreshment to people in need of encouragement. Jesus commended either condition, but to be lukewarm meant that the Laodiceans were tepid in their spiritual life and thought more highly of themselves than they should have. So, because they were neither hot – acting as healing balm – nor cold – spreading the refreshing taste of the gospel – Jesus would spew them from his sight (Rev. 3:16).

            There are many Laodicean churches today. They stand on their past record and continue to be rich through the legacies left by appreciating donors or by money bestowed by present influential people. I have known a few churches that had magnificent edifices and little financial worries. They lived on their past reputations and maintained that they were still relevant in their community. The honest truth was that they were blinded by their own ignorance, inflated with their own self-importance, and had ceased being relevant years before.